kope this from estella's blog, who kope it from the email.. haha. :P
TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may
result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated,
"PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the
line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the
number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the
telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a
person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and
requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable
one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good
looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure
hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need
television." There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of
the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of
love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of
roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer
all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries
the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a
person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our
expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because
of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always
forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without
considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire
and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be
another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the
way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the
donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey.
He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The
husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while
the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let
the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can
the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then,
they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up
the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the
husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it
on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the
donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell
into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will
everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will
be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is
clear..
Love Dearie~
